Geographical Genius

We’re sitting at breakfast, eating oatmeal, and I after several minutes of prodding, I finally manage to convince Heather to actually tell me what she wants to do today, rather than just saying "the weather doesn’t look good" and the like.  Turns out she wants to go to Willamette Falls, that huge falls with the bridge in front of it.  Except that, for all those who are familiar with Oregon geography, the Willamette is about the flattest river ever.  What she really means is Multnomah Falls, which is up the Gorge a ways.

H: Then where’s the Willamette?

B: (is she serious?) Right through the center of Portland.

H: Isn’t that the Columbia?

B: No.  (she can’t be serious!)

H: Then where’s the Columbia? 

B: Between Oregon and Washington. (she’s lived here for how many years?)

H: (eyes glazed in disbelief) Then how did we get on the Coast Guard boat in Astoria, and come to the Rose Festival?

B: The Willamette is a tributary of the Columbia.

H: Oh.

I think home schooling is out.  ; ) 

5 Responses to “Geographical Genius”


  1. 1 Richard

    That is funny.

  2. 2 Carrie

    Ahhhhh typical Heather. ;) But don’t worry-you are not alone. This is right up there with the time Simeon asked what state Connecticut was in.

  3. 3 Barney

    I do have to point out that Sim has never lived in the great state of Connecticut, while Heather has lived and worked in Oregon, in very close proximity to both rivers. ; )

  4. 4 Heather

    Hee hee. It’s true. I had a complete and utter brain fart. I was so confused. Pretty bad when you also consider that I worked for the state parks department out on the jetty at Fort Stevens State Park, as an interpreter, telling people all about the river, etc. Yup…seriously. And then there’s the fact that if I tried to draw a map of the U.S., it would only have like 12 states, and even those might not be in the right location. :( But I’m really smart when it comes to other things, I swear. There has to be some reason I got full academic scholarships to the colleges I went to. Yes, I said academic, not financial need based…. ;)

  5. 5 Memere

    Well, I knew exactly which Falls she was talking about. It’s that knowing what they mean not what they say. It gets quite fun as the years roll by….

    Kind of like when Dad says ‘Renee’. Chances are VERY good he means ‘Peggy’.

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